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Kid demolishing popcorn at last night's Brewers/Nationals game.

by Jon Henseler

(Still a better love story than Twilight)

Alright so this kid is getting some internet fire thrown his way this morning after he was caught in a George Costanza Sundae moment during the Brewers/Nationals game last night. Look nobody likes take shots at innocent bystanders from the safety of a keyboard and cloaked IP address more than me but anyone that hasn't looked like this eating popcorn simply hasn't eaten popcorn. That's just one of those foods that you can't look like a normal human being eating. You try to go for the full hand cup and some dribbles down your chin and onto your stomach. You go for the finger pinch and some slips through and onto your lap. There's no way to eat it without looking foolish. That's why I always hesitated going to movies on first dates. Nothing says romance like a beard full of popcorn and authentic imitation butter going in for a first kiss at the end of the night. So yeah, some might see a kid who needs to 'mix in a napkin,' I see a guy who looks like any guy who has eaten popcorn since the dawn of time.

Also this kid will never, EVER be 'popcorn guy.'

PS: You know what I learned last night with ESPN covering the game? That the Sausage Race is an actual, real race. They had Tim Kurkjian run it last night and after he puked all over himself during the race they followed up with him and he said that the racers are always park workers and whichever sausage wins the race gets the rest of the night off. Like I legit thought it was all fixed like it was an NBA playoff game or something. Huh.

Double PS: By no means am I 'tall' but Tim Kurkjian legit might be 4'7. They could have given him one of the little weenie costumes that the kids get on Sunday's and probably have been fine.